GUEST POST: Choose Love!
How many times do we want to do something or create something in our lives, but then fears creep in and prevent us from taking action like, “How will I do it? Can I do it? What if I fail?”
Well, I’m here to tell you I’ve done it plenty! I am really good at convincing myself that I’m not ready or I don’t know enough yet or I don’t have time…for what? Doesn’t matter, those are my go to excuses when something scares me and the more I WANT something, the stronger those fears cry out!
So when my husband and I started talking about having children (a lifelong dream of mine) you can imagine how my fear went into overdrive!
Can I do it? Do I really want to do it? Will I be any good at it? Will I really like teenagers or do I just like cuddly babies? Have I waited too long?
When your mind starts spinning these tales, it’s very easy to get carried away. We are susceptible to more negative thinking. So when a client of mine decided to “offer” her opinion, I knew I was in trouble.
She had made a conscious decision to not have kids. I never questioned it, or even asked about it, that was her choice. Another choice she seemed to have made was to be miserable. This was someone who had everything money could buy, but everyday she would hatefully recount how something horrible had happened to her or someone had done something awful to her. I admit it; I was in it for the money. Three sessions a week with her added to our wedding fund at the time. I told myself I could do anything for a little while and I silently sent her love and blessings as we worked together, I think as much to calm myself down as it was to help her spirit.
Then one day she started our session with, “Whatever you do don’t have kids. They ruin your body, take all your money and suck all your energy and they never leave you alone.” How she knew this without having any kids of her own, I don’t know, but she went on one of her typical tirades. But this was different….this was my BIG dream that she was dissing!!
I remember so clearly in that moment I thought to myself, ENOUGH! In that instant, I decided that I could not and did not want to be around that energy anymore. I would stop training her and in that time slot I would create my own fitness class for mothers and those who wanted to be…I would create the energy I WANTED to be around.
I was choosing love instead of fear! I knew I wanted to be a mom and fears are normal, but I would not encourage them. I believed in my dream and was going to nurture it. It was my choice how to spend my time and with whom, and I was making a new one!
Yes, it was scary to give up a chunk of income, but it was more liberating to free myself from such negativity. It was more exciting to think about what possibilities were ahead, what magic I could now create in the space I had opened!?!
This time my creative mind went into overdrive!! What did I want? What would be helpful to moms and hopeful moms like me? What would make us feel safe and supported? What would be fun and how could I make it affordable? I threw my heart and soul into developing this class…I was going to face my fears of motherhood head on and help ladies get fit along the way!
I worked tirelessly to find convenient studio space, partner with a reputable childcare company so moms could bring their kids to the studio while they worked out with me, secure sponsorships, locate guest speakers for monthly “mommy talks” so we could learn helpful information about motherhood, create a class blog and advertise my little idea so I had students! I loved every minute of it! I was choosing love instead of fear and it felt great!
In November of last year, I gave birth to intenSati for Mommies and it has been one of the most rewarding endeavors of my life!! No, it hasn’t yet financially replaced the training sessions I gave up, but I already know money doesn’t buy happiness. You know what makes me happy? Spending time with this community we’ve created together and developing a class that serves them well. I am honored to spend time with these incredible women who work hard every week and share their triumphs and their heartbreaks with me. The women in my class (we’ve even had a daddy!) are amazing!! I’ve seen them pregnant, five weeks after delivering, after painful miscarriages, hoping to get pregnant one day, not even close to thinking about motherhood but come because they love the class, and those who have been moms for years. We support one another in our dreams, learn together about creating and raising healthy families and get a kick a$$ workout every week (while their little ones make sock puppets and play games in the room next door)! We choose the love of the things we want over the fear of “failure”. And really, isn’t the only true failure to NOT try??
Guess what happened in the midst of all this creating and nurturing love? I got pregnant!! YUP! When I focused on manifesting the environment I desired, on being of service to others and in turn learning so much from them, on practicing healthy habits, on learning answers to my questions (previously called fears), on surrounding myself with people who supported my dream, my dream came TRUE!!
We always have the choice…love or fear. What will you choose today?
Originally from New Mexico, Jolynn now calls New York home with her new husband, Robert. She is an actor, owner of Jolynn Baca jewelry designs, fitness professional, intenSati leader and creator of Fun Fitness for Mommies. Jolynn is committed to experiencing happiness every day.